Things we mispronounce: Biblical version

Yesterday we were reading Luke 17 and Alexander read verse 3: "Take heed to yourselves..."

Only he read "take heed to your sleeves." 

And that was funny.

But as luck would have it he also read verse 14: "And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests."

Only he read "Go shew your sleeves unto the priests."

And that was funnier. 

And then Rachel was reading verse 27: "They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all."

But she said "flood" with a very strong ooo, like if you stuck an /l/ in the middle of "food," flood. Or like if you took the past tense of fly—"flew"—and made it double past tense -ed, "flewed" flood. Flooood!

And that was even funnier. 

And then I said, "Oh, nooo! The flooood! Save your sleeves!"

And that was funniest of all.

*****

So then we're reading the scriptures this evening (because we are nothing if not dedicated) and Alexander was reading Luke 18, verse 2. 

He started on verse one, but no one was really listening for that part because Alexander does this thing where when he's ready to do something he just starts whether or not anyone else is ready. Like praying. Don't ask that kid to say the blessing on the food unless everyone is ready because he will not wait. 

Apparently he made it through verse 1 while everyone was still talking and then he starts yelling, "You guys! Why is Judea spelled exactly the same way as judge?"

And we're all like, "What?"

And he goes, "There was a city Judea! Verse 2!"

Here's another thing about Alexander: he often leaves out little words when he reads out loud. He'll go back to pick them up sometimes. Other times he twists what he's reading until it makes sense in his mind. 

Here's another thing about our family: we're once again doing that thing where we're all reading out of different translations of the Bible. So no one was really sure what he was reading, even when he pointed it out to us.

"Chapter 18?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah!"

"Verse 2...Judea...hmmm....I don't see that."

"Chapter 18. Verse 2. There was a city Judea! But it's spelled wrong. They spelled it just like the word judge."

Phoebe was practically sitting on my face, but I managed to get open to chapter 18 in the King James Version (which was what Alexander was using on his phone). 

"There's no Judea in this verse," I said, distracted by Phoebe shoving her bum in my face. "You must be in the wrong place."

"No. He's in the right place," Benjamin confirmed.

"Then what does it say?"

"There was in a city a judge..."

"Oh! That word is judge, not Judea!" said Alexander and then he happily plunged into verse 3: "And there was a window in that city..."

"Widow," I corrected.

"What?"

"Widow, not window."

"Oh, widow. Well, but there were probably some windows, too..."

Like, we're not ruling out that possibility or anything.