TP

This is a subject I have to dance around lightly but Andrew insists this story be recorded for posterity. While I seem to have no problem discussing babies and children going potty I do take issue with discussing adults' bathroom habits. Nevertheless, today's bathroom story is about me. Kind of.

I was in the bathroom, and already on the toilet, when I noticed that the toilet paper roll was empty. Not only that, but there was no other toilet paper within reach.

"Rachel!" I called out.

Within seconds she was at the door, ready to do my bidding.

"I need you to go into your bathroom and get me a new roll of toilet paper."

She walked into my bathroom and made a grab for the toilet paper.

"But Mommy! You don't have any toilet paper."

"I know. That's why I need you to go into your bathroom and get me a new roll of toilet paper."

She ran off to her bathroom and returned a few seconds later with a single square of toilet paper.

"Okay, listen: I need you to get me a whole roll of toilet paper. You brought me a piece, and that was nice, but what I want you to do is bring me a new roll of toilet paper—you know where they are, just under the sink. Bring me one of those new rolls."

Rachel ran off to her bathroom and returned a few seconds later with a half-used roll of toilet paper, which she had clearly taken from her own toilet paper holder.

"You know what?" I said, "This is perfect. Thank you so much!"

"But Mommy!"

"What?"

"Now I don't have any toilet paper in my bathroom! I'll go put a new roll on!"

*sigh*

And off she ran to get a new roll and put it in her bathroom.