You shall neither smile nor laugh

My friends and I used to play a party game called "Darling, if you love me." I haven't played it for years and can't really remember when I stopped playing it but it must have been when I moved down to the States because I can only seem to find a sprinkling of references to the game online—perhaps this will be my foray to writing Wikipedia articles—most of them British or Canadian.

Basically, the game runs like this:

One person is selected to be "it" and stands in the middle of the room. All other participants sit in a circle. The person who is "it" has to try to make someone laugh by saying, "Darling, if you love me, won't you please, please smile," in the silliest manner possible. Anyone in the circle can laugh except for the person being addressed. That person must answer, "Darling, you know I love you, but I just can't smile," in the most solemn manner possible, without smiling or laughing. If the victim laughs, they become "it." If they don't, then the person being "it" will choose another person to approach.

The game gets quite silly, as illustrated in this video of school children in Victoria, BC, playing the game in class.



At my cousin Heidi's bridal shower on Saturday we played an earlier version of the game that my mom played when she was young. My cousins grew up abroad and thus missed the evolution of the game, so they had never played "Darling, if you love me," and I had never played this version of the game.

The premise of the game is the same, except a little funnier, I think. My cousin Shannon had brought a bunch of props—an apron, hat, wig, glasses, and a broom—that the "it" person had to wear/carry. Once they had dressed in the costume, they would hobble into the room and say:

I'm an old lady with a broom and a staff
And you must neither smile nor laugh
But say I do, straight out.

They then ask any question they want to their victim, who has to answer nothing but "I do," without smiling or laughing, of course. Anyone else can laugh of course, and laugh we did, which makes it very difficult to regain composure when you're the one being questioned by the "old lady."

Heidi insisted that the words were:

Here comes an old lady with a broom and a staff
And you must neither smile nor laugh
But say I do, straight out.

Though that only seems to make sense if the circle says that when the old lady is walking in after donning her costume. Shannon was having the old lady say the poem so it made more sense to say, "I'm an old lady..."

My mom says she remembers Auntie Colleen playing this game at hr birthday parties. And, my mom said, she might have even played it at her own birthday party (she only ever had one because she was a little bit naughty and ungracious as a hostess—"This isn't what I wanted...") but she can't remember.  

Anyway, do Americans know of this game? (Aside from the Facebook group I found that has 15 members from Connecticut and, randomly, Indiana—like those states are even near each other).