Rambling

If all goes as planned, Andrew’s plane will land in an hour and he’ll be home in less than two. But when does life ever go as planned?

Originally our plan was that I would go to bed and leave the light on for him, but since all the cash was stolen from his wallet he has no pounds on his person anymore. Pity the fool who took his pounds—you can’t really exchange them outside of Egypt since no one wants them. Oh, well.

So I’m up. Waiting for him.

He said I could go to bed and just leave the money on the table in the front room, but I was alerted about a family crisis a few hours ago and if I went to bed I’m sure, exhausted as I am, that I would just stay awake thinking about it, anyway, since it is most definitely weighing heavily on my mind right now. Bedtime is inevitable, I know, but it is also delayable.

Not only that, but flying makes me incredibly nervous. Being grounded while my husband is in flight also makes me nervous, apparently.

I may as well come out and say it: I’m a born worrier.

It will be better when I have my husband here just because having him here makes things better.

Earlier today Rachel found some flashcards of the Dolch Word List and wanted to play with them. I had them out for reasons other than teaching my two-year-old how to read but since she insisted on flipping through them we did. Mostly she was interested in quizzing me.

“Okay, Mommy, what does this say?”

“Oh! That’s a hard one! C-A-T.” I pretended to think hard for a minute and then sounded it out for her, “Cat! It says cat!”

She knows a lot of her letters from alphabet play encouraged by natural toddler curiosity of reading and writing and also from watching The Letter Factory (thanks, Sam and Sara!). So when I saw what word was on the other side, I told her to read it.

“Your turn, Rachel. What does this say?”

“I can’t read, Mom.”

“Sure you can! What letter is at the end?”

“R.”

“That’s right. And if C-A-T said cat, what do you think C-A-R says?”

“Car!” she yelled, “I’m reading!”

She also read the word ‘so.’ Those were the only two words she got right. She completely guessed for all the other words.

“What does this word start with?”

“E!”

“That’s right! E-Y-E. What does that spell?”

“Elephant! I want to be an elephant when I grow up! I have to grow a trunk first and get bigger!”

“It actually spells eye.”

“But E is for elephant.”

“Er, yes, it is. And also eye.”

Eye? Elephant? Oh, well. She’s two, right? I think reading ‘car’ and ‘so’ is pretty good. It surprises me, sometimes, how much she already knows. Little people learn so much so quickly.

And grow so fast, too! I just went through Miriam’s clothes today, putting away small things and getting out bigger things. I remember putting her 3-6 month clothes in a box in my closet thinking that it would be a long time before I’d have to drag that box out. Then all of a sudden she’s cooing, drooling, rolling, and needing bigger clothes. Where has the time gone? She’ll be running around and driving me crazy before I know it.

My friend Bridget remarked about how her older (non-terrible-two) child “suffers from the impatience [she] is experiencing because of her” younger (heading-straight-for-the-terrible-twos) child. I feel, currently, that our situation is reversed and that Miriam often suffers from the impatience I feel due to Rachel’s behavior. I have a feeling that in about two years the situation will flip-flop and I’ll feel more impatience towards Miriam than towards Rachel.

Four-year-olds aren’t frustrating in the same way that two-year-olds are, right? I guess only time will tell. I mean, I thought that a two-year-old would sleep better than a three-month-old, yet Rachel has been up three times tonight already and Miriam is sleeping like a rock.

Things just never happen the way you think they will, I guess. I mean, whoever would have thought that we’d end up here? Speaking of here, Andrew’s plane just landed. Five minutes late, but that’s okay. At least he’s here.

If I phoned him right now would that seem too needy?

Maybe I’ll just take a nap until he gets here…