Once Upon a Dream

I can tell I am sleeping better in two different ways.

The first is that Rachel has been sleeping almost all night long for the last few nights. For example, last night she went down at 10:30 and I finally woke her up at 6:30, begging her to eat (while simultaneously drenching the bed with milk). And just because she's sleeping through the night doesn't mean that I am yet. She had me on schedule with 2:00 and 4:00 am feedings so I am still getting up with those--I'm working on giving them up, but I'm a die-hard. However, she is sleeping more soundly since we put the vaporizer in our bedroom. That means that I don't wake up to every little snort she makes because she isn't making as many little snorts.

The second way is that I am having dreams again. Dreams so realistic I think I'm awake until I realize how absolutely ridiculous they are. Like this afternoon I dreamt that Andrew and I were in a Rumpelstiltskin type story, only it took place mostly in the upstairs bathroom of my Auntie Colleen's house and Andrew had to spin something into sausage. So here's Andrew sitting at a spinning wheel, turning out sausage links to appease some grumpy old man who is forcing me to fix the toilet. The toilet is one of those cheap-o plastic Russian ones with the tank above the toilet and you press the floating plastic thing to make it flush--not unlike our toilet in Jordan, only there we had a pull string. Odd, I know, but it seemed so real at the time.

It's actually no worse than my pregnancy dreams. Dreams toward the end of pregnancy get really weird, and they are usually about babies. I had two that really bothered me when I had them but I suppose could be kind of funny now.

Dream #1: I wake up in labor. Andrew is already up and getting ready for school (as if that actually ever happens). I come out and I say, "Andrew, I'm having the baby."

"Well, I'm having breakfast, so deal with it," he snaps.

"No, honey," I say, "I'm really having the baby right now."

"I'm really having breakfast right now. Deal with it."

I go back into the bedroom and have the baby all by myself without any help. I then get out of bed without any help (unlike when I actually had the baby) and came out to find Andrew.

"Andrew," I said, with the super long umbilical cord running from the baby on our bed into the living room because I haven't delivered the afterbirth yet, "I had the baby. We should go to the hospital."

"Well," he pauses to kiss me on the forehead, "I'm off to school. Have a nice day."

"I just had the baby. Don't you care?"

"See you when I come home."

I go back into the bedroom to check on the baby. The doorbell rings. I go to answer the door, still with this super long umbilical cord following me all around the house. I look through the peep hole and don't know who it is so answer the door (because I would probably do that if this actually happened...or not). It's some random people wanting to give me a survey.

"Look, I just had a baby."

"Like that's even an excuse not to take this survey."

"No, really...I just had a baby. This is the umbilical cord. I'm kind of tired and need to get to the hospital."

"When you opened the door you agreed to take the survey so you really need to do that."

"I really need to make sure my baby is okay...I seriously just had a baby like five minutes ago and I need to go to the hospital."

Anyway, I'm not sure how this dream turned out because I woke up in tears during my fight with the nasty survey people. And for days I was worried that no one would care that I had my baby.

Dream #2: I have the baby in the hospital like normal, but...she's absolutely hideous. She looks like a monkey-man-goblin-thing. After reading Harry Potter 7, I realized that my baby in the dream was my Peeves.

"Isn't she adorable," coos Andrew.

"Are you blind? She's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"

We take her home and Andrew leaves for school the next day. At this point he is still thinking she's the best thing in the world while I am feeling guilty for thinking my baby is a monster. After saying his goodbyes and closing the door the baby really starts to act up.

She climbs up in the cupboards and starts throwing things at me. She is using vulgar and profane language and calling me anything but mama.

I tried and tried to console her/control her but she was an absolutely crazy (and ugly) baby. So, I opened up one of the hall closets. She climbed in and started throwing things and I slammed the door shut and shoved a chair against it so that it couldn't open.

When Andrew came home from work he was mad at me for treating an innocent baby in such a way. Innocent? Hah!

Dream #3: This is actually one of Andrew's. As I didn't actually have the dream, I don't know the details but apparently it was pretty bad because he woke up one morning all upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Is the baby okay?" he whimpered.

"She's fine," I assured him, "Why do you ask?"

"Because I had a dream that she had an extra arm growing out of the side of her head. She doesn't, does she?"

"Andrew, you saw the ultrasound, remember? 10 fingers, 10 toes, pretty face...no arm growing out of the top of her head."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you need me to get the pictures?"

"No...it's fine...it was just so real..."

Yeah, and I felt that him sitting at a spinning wheel making sausage links while I fixed a Russian toilet was real. Dreams are interesting things. At least I'm having them again. For a while there I wasn't because I was so tired and not sleeping.

I wonder what Rachel dreams about though...her life hasn't been very interesting thus far and she enjoys sleeping so much that I think her dreams must be more exciting than real life.

I deny being bored while making a video of my sleeping baby balancing blocks on her tummy. I simply made this video because I thought that balancing blocks on your tummy while sleeping takes a lot of talent.