Babies make my brain hurt

Andrew has been complaining that I only ever tell funny stories about him in our blog. Let's be honest, who really wants to tell funny (and most importantly, embarrassing) stories about themselves. It's a little cocky and really just sounds funnier coming from someone else. Plus, I try not to widely advertise the fact that I'm really a major ditz.

I told Andrew that I did write the story of my amazement that Ryan and his mission companion had served in the same mission. Andrew said that was good, and that we need more embarrassing stories about me to prove to future generations that I am just as blond as Andrew (which isn't possible because I have brown hair).

Fortunately for Andrew, my pregnancy brain is making my ditzy moments come closer and closer together. They should perhaps now be called ditzy "spells" because that denotes a longer period of time than simply a moment does.

As it stands, here is Andrew's favorite story of my ditziness for the week:

We do the same routine every morning. We get ready to go...say family prayer...and then Andrew opens the door and holds the screen open for me while I turn out the light, lock the door and close it tight (that rhymed)!

Our door has 3 locks: a child lock, a deadbolt, and a handle lock.

The child lock can't be easily unlocked from the outside and is next to impossible to lock once you are on the other side, so we always leave that one unlocked if we are gone.

The handle lock is one of those twisty ones that you can lock and then close the door and it will stay locked.

The deadbolt is a deadbolt. It doesn't do anything special. There are no special tricks. I've been using them for years and they all work pretty much the same. If you are on the outside, you have to lock it from the outside.

Andrew usually does the locking from the outside because he has his keys out to start the car.

I usually lock the handle lock before I close the door. That is how it always works. We have the system down to a T.

Well, the other day, I thought, for some odd reason, that it would save time if I locked both the handle and deadbolt and then closed the door. So I did...and then walked away.

As I walked away, I was all happy with myself and said, "Why didn't I think of that before?"

Andrew said, "Think of what? Did you know you just locked the deadbolt before closing the door?"

"Yeah," I said, "It'll save time."

"No," Andrew said, "You can't lock it before you close it. We have to do it from the outside."

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently...and then it all clicked.

I had actually locked the deadbolt and then closed the door, which means that it just bounced right on open again--that would be the reason why I didn't think of it before. It just doesn't work.

*****

I would like to say that these things only happen when I'm pregnant, but it's just not true. They happened before, too, occasionally... Now that I'm pregnant they just happen like, 3 or more times each day. I'm afraid that it will keep increasing in frequency until I function on ditziness entirely.

Poor Andrew...I hear it doesn't get better postpartum, either.